1. Skin Tags: Skin tags kind of look like tiny warts, and they pop up in random places thanks to all those extra pregnancy hormones. Luckily, not everyone is #blessed with this grossness, and it’s usually no biggie for a dermatologist to remove them.
2. Random Body Hair: You thought tweezing your brows was annoying? Well, then you’re going to adore your new mustache and extra bushy armpit hair! Once you get pregnant, waging war on stubborn little bastard chin hairs is practically a side gig. And don’t even get me started on how hard it is to shave your legs when you can’t even see past your belly. Unfortunately, the transformation into a hairy she-beast is permanent.
3. Nonexistent Bladder Control: Pregnancy doesn’t just make you need to pee more often; it actually sort of makes you pee your pants. The extra pressure on your bladder from your expanding uterus can make it harder to hold it in when you’ve gotta go. No, it doesn’t mean you should check the diaper aisle to see if any come in your size. But don’t be surprised if coughing or ALOL-ing causes you to accidentally wet yourself.
4. Constipation: Not only do you have a growing fetus impeding digestion, but you’re also taking monster-sized prenatal vitamins that have the opposite effect of a laxative. It’s not the sexiest subject to talk about, but pregnancy constipation is totally normal, and your OB knows what’s up, so don’t be afraid to see what they advise you do to get things moving again.
5. A Comical Amount of Sweat: What To Expect When You’re Expecting says the excess sweat is from pregnancy hormones confusing the part of the brain that regulates body temperature. All you need to know is to wear light clothing because that bun in the oven is turning you into one of your menopausal aunts mid-hot flash.
6. Lopsided Boobies: You’ll spend hours in the mirror just gazing it, willing it to stop showing off and go back to matching its twin. It might never do that. But breastfeeding (if you choose to do it) usually deflates your boobs anyway, so enjoy those uneven lady lumps while you still can.
7. Swelling: According to the American Pregnancy Association, the body produces approximately 50% more blood and body fluids during pregnancy to meet the needs of your growing kid. All that extra fluid means you might feel like a Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade balloon.
8. Bleeding Gums: When you’re pregnant, brushing and flossing might make your bathroom sink look like a crime scene. Don’t freak out. As the experts at Baby Center explain, pregnancy hormones make your gums more sensitive. But, whether it makes you feel like a complete masochist or not, keeping your chompers clean will help.
9. Heartburn: In reality, heartburn indicates that your uterus is being a huge diva and squishing all your other organs into an impossibly tiny space. You can try Tums, or even an antacid from the doctor, but no matter what you do, it’s probably going to feel like you swallowed a flaming sword for approximately 40 weeks.
10. Acne: Those baby-making hormones make all sorts of horror possible, and this includes mega zits all over your back, face, and chest, to compliment that sweet, freshly grown facial hair. Pregnancy certainly won’t be the hottest phase of your life. But look, that’s why the tech gods invented Instagram filters.
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