The 3 Worst Pieces of Parenting Advice

Tonight we're drinking some red wine in a mini bottle that's really fancy 'cause it has a twig tied onto it. There was a comment on a previous video asking what's the worst parenting advice I've ever gotten, and that's pretty funny, so I figured I'd tell you guys the three worst pieces of parenting advice I've ever gotten in my life. So let's go right into it, after a sip.
 
First, sleep when the baby's sleeping, and I know so many moms get this piece of advice. It just makes no sense. Should I do laundry when the baby's doing laundry? Should I pee when the baby's peeing? Should I do dishes when the baby's doing dishes? I'll just take a long nap while the baby's sleeping, and do the rest while they're helping me out with it, because that works out just great. When the baby is sleeping is what I like to call get shit done time. 
 
That's when I do everything I couldn't do with a baby in my arms. Try vacuuming with a baby in your arms, and they're scared of the vacuum. They're not cooperative people. So instead of sleep when the baby sleeps, how about you volunteer to come clean while the mommy sleeps? I think that's a better piece of parenting advice.
 
Next, I get gold all the time that holding you child too much will spoil them. I don't think it's possible for your child to get spoiled off of physical contact. I'm pretty sure the only thing that's gonna spoil them is giving them too much stuff that's undeserved and letting them get away with being a jerk without consequences.
 
The whole point of a parent is to care for and comfort your child, so if I'm not picking them up when they wanna be held, what am I here for? Me picking up my child when they're hurt or sad or feeling bad is only gonna make them feel more secure with themselves and therefore be a better person.
 
I feel like this advice comes from a time when parents were a lot more distant from their kids, and it was kind of like I don't wanna deal with that. And now we're in a time where parents wanna deal with that. I want to be there for my children. I want to be their source of comfort. So to give me that advice is nonsensical. 
 
And last, people say that you should teach your kids to use non-anatomical words for their private parts. They think you should make up like a more kid-friendly word for it, like oh my gosh, I hurt my wee wee. That's just super weird. My friend's daughter got sent home from school with a note asking her to stop telling her daughter to say vagina and instead to say down there.
 
That's just so weird because, to me, down there means anything from the waist down, so like when I say down there, I could mean legs, shins, feet, toes. When you use the actual word about it, it clears up all the mystery.
 
It's not this foreign thing that you can't say the actual word, like Voldemort. Everyone in Harry Potter's like, my God, don't say Voldemort, but when you actually say it, it's like, oh, that's who he is.
 
That being said, I was raised with the idea of not saying anatomically correct words, and to this day, I get extremely uncomfortable using the words penis (laughing) I'm an adult. I'm gonna teach my kids the correct way to say their privates. That's just how it's gonna be.