A very common question that I have after delivery is, "Is it normal for me to have discomfort after having a baby, especially when it's related to intercourse?" It's incredibly common, and that's the unfortunate thing.
A woman is undergone major trauma from delivery, some significant tears, hormonally there are changes occurring where the tissue in the vaginal opening ends up being much less elastic. So, I tell women that it may take many, many weeks for them to have full resolution, and for some women, even months, depending on the degree of their tear.
If a woman is able to have a good relationship with her husband, and it's a very understanding relationship. I think that that time passes and they do well just allowing for return of normal sensation.
Some key tricks would be to use creams, and very good water-based lubricants, to try alternate positions; because again, you know much of the trauma can occur if a woman is on the on a position where she's getting more of the pressure, being on the bottom for example versus her controlling pressure from the top.
The other question I have for patients when they come into the office is whether they can help with facilitating stretching and massage of the perineum after delivery to help with pain with intercourse.
And for those women...sure, that is definitely an option. But again, it takes time, it takes healing after significant tears. It's not harmful to do that; it surely isn't something that will make the pain worse.
I would avoid using natural-based oils like olive oil, or Crisco, or oils that just we know may harm your perineum in the filling process. And less harmful creams may reduce the risk of infection if you're still early in the healing process with stitches.
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