The whole point of breasts are to feed children and if you can't separate what the breast's actual function is from what you would like them to be, maybe you shouldn't be in public at all.
I would buy bras and one hour they would fit and then the next hour they'd be too small and then the next hour they'd be too big and then the next hour they would fit again. They're changing in size every hour based on how much milk there is and then when they're too full, they just pour milk everywhere.
I can't even tell you how many times I was having a conversation with a person and their eyes just slowly went like. And it's because my shirt was soaked. Like I had two big wet balls. Come on. Like I would get to the point of just like shoving paper towels in there. I was like a high schooler again.
Just like stuffing my bra with paper towels. Nothing to see here. Don't touch 'em 'cause it'll crinkle. I'm really grateful to be past the whole breastfeeding phase because now my breasts can go back to the way that they once were, which apparently is nothing. Cheers to what they once were.
Next, pumping. If you ever were wondering what the life is like as a dairy cow, have a baby and pump. After all the advances in technology, you'd think that these pumps would be a little bit quiet. Why are the pumps still so goddamn loud? One time we were camping. So I'm trying to discretely pump in our tent and everybody's like what the heck is that?
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